A not-really-open-defecation-free district, Celtic and Rangers go to the loo, used toilet roll postage and a poetic toilet

As India’s campaign to end open defecation rolls on, The Indian Express reports that not all the reported successes of the programme have achieved what they claim to have. In a story about the district of Dhamtari, which the regional government has declared to be “open-defecation-free” or ODF, the reality doesn’t exactly reflect the official status. The story details a school playground that is full of little brown smelly mounds when the children arrive every morning because it’s where locals go to defecate at night. There is also a description of the newly installed toilets, most of which do not have water tanks and which must be cleared by hand. The report mentions one toilet bowl that has been filled with cement and many which are nowhere near pipes. One farmer said that his toilet is the room where he dries his crops as there’s nothing else he can do with the room. This campaign has a long way to go.

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A man from Dhamtari standing in front of the pond he uses as a toilet – from the Indian Express

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Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers’ rivalry is legendary. In September this extended to Rangers’ fans damaging the toilets in Celtic’s Parkhead stadium after they were defeated by five goals to one. The Scottish Sun reports that some Celtic fans decided to get lighthearted and fragrant revenge by lighting green and white scented candles in the toilets in Rangers’ Ibrox stadium at the New Year’s Eve derby match between the two teams. Aww!

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Toilet candles in Ibrox stadium – from the Scottish Sun

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Another sports story now, this time a gross one, involving a cricket commentator and a football commentator. The Mirror carries a story about Jonathan Agnew, who commentates on cricket for the BBC. He has been awarded an MBE and he tweeted, “Can I ask the charming individual who for 10 years has sent me a soiled piece of toilet paper every Test now address the envelope correctly?” Apparently, he’s been getting dirty toilet paper in the post for over 10 years. On seeing the tweet, football commentator, Gary Lineker tweeted back, “Let me guess; sent from a Bath postcode?” Somebody out there is posting their used toilet roll to BBC sports personalities, weekly, for years on end. Take comfort in how normal you are by comparison.

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Finally today, an important tweet from @xssyharvey.

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