Tag Archives: New Zealand

4 June 2017 in Toilets | Stories from New Zealand, Japan, China, South Africa, the US, the UK and Ireland

Welcome to the new format – from now on every Sunday I’ll be posting all of the internet’s best toilet stories from the last week. I imagine you’ve missed me lots.


Let’s start in New Zealand, with a story about a policeman keeping his job. TVNZ reports on the story of a “highly trained” police officer, whose job is to protect the New Zealand Prime Minister and other VIPs, who kept his job after a disciplinary process. He was using the public toilet in parliament and put his loaded Glock pistol down and then forgot to pick it up. An hour and a half later, when he was on his way back, having realised he’d forgotten his gun, it was discovered by a member of the public. Luckily, no harm was done.


Breaking News reports that Sober Lane, a pub in my home city of Cork, has installed a “Snapchat machine” in the ladies’ toilets, so women on a night out can record their toilet fun and drunk group selfies on the pub’s Snapchat story. I’m sure nothing at all will go wrong.


The ladies’ toilet Snapchat Machine  – photo from BreakingNews.ie


Angry commuter stories make me happy. Angry commuters pissing in plastic bottle stories are amazing. Read this story in the East Anglian Daily Times to experience the anger of rail passengers stuck on a train that only had working toilets in half of the carriages. It does sound inconvenient, as they had to get off the train and get back on another carriage in order to access the toilets, so I’m not not on the passengers’ side. But I still find the idea of the people of East Anglia angrily pissing into bottles on a train quite funny.


Now, a story from the Sowetan Live, about a man who has an amazing name and amazing hair. There is apparently a singer  and reality TV star called Papa Penny Penny. Imagine being called Papa Penny Penny and not being a reality TV star. Anyway, the story goes that he once worked as a toilet cleaner. He told a show called Real Talk that “some people would just do their deeds beside [instead of inside] the toilet pot but I just cleaned”. Poor Papa Penny Penny.



Papa Penny Penny – photo from Sowetan Live


Now to China, where a news story in This Week in Asia appears to be trying to make Japan’s good toilets as much of a problem as China’s bad ones. The story tells of the run-up to the Beijing Olympics, when the city’s many dirty, smelly and old-fashioned toilets had to be renovated before the Games started. It compares this situation to Japan’s amazing toilets, thought to be the best in the world, and lists some of the advantages of Japan’s toilets, with their automated functions, heated seats, built-in bidets and washing functions and even the ability to measure blood pressure or analyse urine content. It claims that before the Olympics come to Japan 2020, the Japanese will have a similar problem because competitors and crowds from around the world won’t be able to figure out how to use the loos there. You should mainly read this story for the amazing photos of Japanese toilets, two of which I include here.


This is a photo of Inax’s (a Japanese firm) flagship toilet at a Shanghai expo. Imagine having a flagship toilet. Photo from This Week in Asia, credited AFP. 


A man wearing a poo-shaped hat climbs a giant toilet slide at the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation in Tokyo. Amazing. Photo from This Week in Asia, credited AFP.


Finally to San Francisco, and a story from Business Insider (which is basically Buzzfeed in a suit) about a journalist who tries a Japanese toilet. It’s not just any Japanese toilet. It’s apparently “the Mercedes Benz of toilets” and it costs $10,200. To be honest, that’s too much to spend on an actual Mercedes Benz. She said the toilet was nice, but unsurprisingly she also said that it wasn’t ten thousand dollars nice.



Teachers take selfies with toilets, IBD sufferers demand toilet access and a hipster tradesman christens your loo

The main source of stories for this blog continues to be the government campaign in India to end open defecation, known as Swachh Bharat. The Hindustan Times reports on a coercive element of this flawed campaign unique to the West Singbhum district of Jharkhand. Teachers are being asked to pose for a selfie with their toilet and submit the selfie to the local authorities in order to prove that they are not defecating in the open. Teachers will face the possibility of disciplinary action, including losing their jobs if they do not submit the toilet selfie. Teachers argue that this is unfair if the authorities aren’t willing to help to pay for the construction of toilets for the teachers in their homes.


A 12-year-old sufferer of Crohn’s Disease has launched a petition to require New Zealand to change the law so that people who have IBD would be allowed to go into an office or a workplace and demand to use the toilets there. According to this article in “Scoop”, People with IBD often cannot wait for the toilet and although there is an “I can’t wait” card, it isn’t legally enforceable. New Zealanders cam support the initiative/petition at the “I can’t wait NZ” Facebook page.


Finally today, a tweet from hipster tradesman, Logan Sheppard (@LoganShepp)

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Catching a snake in a toilet, odour chimneys and a miserable Christmas

We start with the National Geographic, which this week shared a video of a snake in Thailand being caught in a toilet. This is the second time this year that a video of a snake being extracted from a toilet in Thailand has made the international news. Watch your bums, folks!

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Catching the oriental rat snake – from National Geographic

Watch the whole video here.


TV New Zealand reports on a problem for tourists and locals along the Whanganui River. Sailing along the river is a popular summer activity for Kiwis and travellers alike, but when they are taken short, they sometimes avoid using the “long drop” toilets provided by the tourism authorities because of the noxious smelling toilets and they end up defecating in the open on the banks of the river. To end this problem and to try to encourage people to use the long-drop toilets, the public authorities have updated the facilities by adding “odour chimneys” to allow the poo smell to float away on the wind.

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The toilets with odour chimneys – from TVNZ


And finally, a sad Christmas for one homeless man in Scotland, who The Evening Telegraph reports was arrested for injecting heroin in full view of the public in McDonalds in Dundee on Christmas Eve. He was arrested and pled guilty. His sentencing was postponed until January 25th.

iPhone drops, toilet apps and tinfoil toilets

We all know someone who has dropped their iPhone down the toilet. This young New Zealander dropped his phone down the loo and didn’t recover it, so he’s started a GoFundMe to raise $1000. He posed with a baby on his GoFundMe page, but not even a cute baby has worked and after a month, he still hasn’t raised a single cent.


The PooTime App – from iTunes

Do you use your iPhone on the toilet? If so, you might like the PooTime app, which allows you to time and to track the size and type of your bowel movements. You can share this info. If you want, and this led to the amazing five-star review: “My whole fraternity went viral with this app, so I guess that says a lot how much addictive it is.”

Vulcan Post has put together a list of five of the best toilet finder apps available. If tracking your poos isn’t bringing enough to your life, then one of the apps listed here has a urine colour checker too. Yay!


The tin foil toilet – from The Tab

Finally to the King’s College edition of The Tab, where students are apparently concerned that the campus toilets are being repaired with tin foil. First year English student Ruth Beddow told the Tab: “I think it’s quite an endearing addition to the loos. It kind of sums up King’s – there’s no sense to it, but at least they tried.”