Tag Archives: scotland

A mortified mum, a charitable friend and some toilet-wrecking hooligans

My toilet blog is back! Boy how I’ve missed reading local newspaper accounts of borough council meetings about whether or not to charge for access to toilets in a small town I’ve never been to and headlines with awful toilet-based puns like “loodicrous”.

The first story today is a very local news story, told in a breathless tone in the Stoke Sentinel about toilets in a park being locked “on the hottest day of the year!” Marie Poole brought her three children to the park and was apparently “mortified” to discover the toilets were closed, especially on such a hot day. She phoned the council to complain and told the Sentinel, “You’ve got to be careful about going in bushes these days.”


Marie Poole, looking sad with two of her children – pic from the Stoke Sentinel


Northglen News is running a story about a very worthy cause in Durban, South Africa, where Claire de Sylva visited a friend in the countryside and had to use her drop toilet (a hole in the ground). On realising the poor access that so many people had to sanitation, Claire started Project Loo Durban and raised enough money for her friend to afford a toilet and now wants the organisation to continue raising funds to allow the whole community to benefit.


Claire de Sylva, posing with a toilet seat around her waist – pic from Northglen News


Finally, the Evening Express reports that Aberdeen Football Club is to send a bill for repairs to Glasgow Rangers, after Rangers fans damaged over 100 seats in their stadium, as well as the ceiling of a toilet. The police are also investigating the damage. The story doesn’t say what Rangers’ reaction to the news was.


The toilet in question – pic from the Famous Aberdeen Facebook page


The floral urinals of Paris, a rattlesnake family in a Texas toilet and a Scottish High School re-opens its girls toilets

Paris is combating the problem of people (mostly men) who urinate on the streets by experimenting with a fragrant solution. The New York Times reports on two “uritrottoirs” that have been erected outside Gare de Lyon. These are flower pots standing on top of a container of straw, which, when mixed with urine creates a compost. If the uritrottoirs are a success, they could be rolled out across the whole city.


A uritrottoir – from the New York Times


Yet another story about snakes coming up through the toilet. In Texas, CNet reports on a story where “Big Country Snake Removal” were called to remove a rattlesnake from a toilet and then in a terrifying twist, they found another thirteen adult rattlesnakes in the cellar. Mind your bums, folks.


Rattlesnake in the toilet – from the Big Snake Country Removal Facebook page


The wonderfully-named Dunfermline Press and West of Fife Advertiser has  a report on the curious closure and re-opening of the girls’ toilets at St Columba’s High School. The school had started locking the girls’ toilets from lunchtime until the end of the schoolday, claiming that this was in response to truancy. A 14-year-old student started a petition, complaining that the lack of toilets was unsanitary and embarrassing. Within 24 hours, she had collected 500 signatures and the toilets have now re-opened. The Headmaster said “This was a short-term measure to address specific issues of vandalism and truancy surrounding the main girls’ toilets just before Christmas. We wanted to try something different to disrupt this pattern of behaviour, change the school culture and improve the facilities for pupils. We encourage and listen to pupil feedback. The temporary closure was always going to be reviewed this week and, taking into account the petition, the toilets have now been re-opened.”


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A not-really-open-defecation-free district, Celtic and Rangers go to the loo, used toilet roll postage and a poetic toilet

As India’s campaign to end open defecation rolls on, The Indian Express reports that not all the reported successes of the programme have achieved what they claim to have. In a story about the district of Dhamtari, which the regional government has declared to be “open-defecation-free” or ODF, the reality doesn’t exactly reflect the official status. The story details a school playground that is full of little brown smelly mounds when the children arrive every morning because it’s where locals go to defecate at night. There is also a description of the newly installed toilets, most of which do not have water tanks and which must be cleared by hand. The report mentions one toilet bowl that has been filled with cement and many which are nowhere near pipes. One farmer said that his toilet is the room where he dries his crops as there’s nothing else he can do with the room. This campaign has a long way to go.


A man from Dhamtari standing in front of the pond he uses as a toilet – from the Indian Express


Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers’ rivalry is legendary. In September this extended to Rangers’ fans damaging the toilets in Celtic’s Parkhead stadium after they were defeated by five goals to one. The Scottish Sun reports that some Celtic fans decided to get lighthearted and fragrant revenge by lighting green and white scented candles in the toilets in Rangers’ Ibrox stadium at the New Year’s Eve derby match between the two teams. Aww!


Toilet candles in Ibrox stadium – from the Scottish Sun


Another sports story now, this time a gross one, involving a cricket commentator and a football commentator. The Mirror carries a story about Jonathan Agnew, who commentates on cricket for the BBC. He has been awarded an MBE and he tweeted, “Can I ask the charming individual who for 10 years has sent me a soiled piece of toilet paper every Test now address the envelope correctly?” Apparently, he’s been getting dirty toilet paper in the post for over 10 years. On seeing the tweet, football commentator, Gary Lineker tweeted back, “Let me guess; sent from a Bath postcode?” Somebody out there is posting their used toilet roll to BBC sports personalities, weekly, for years on end. Take comfort in how normal you are by comparison.


Finally today, an important tweet from @xssyharvey.

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If you enjoy Today in Toilets, please consider donating to my Patreon.

Bus toilets, gold toilets, closed toilets and a toilet giveaway

In the first of two bus toilet related stories today, the Edinburgh Evening News, reports on a price hike at Edinburgh bus station, where using the toilets now costs 40 pence. This is ten pence more expensive than “most major Scottish cities and towns”. The injustice smarts even worse when we read that passengers in Stirling and Aberdeen bus stations have access to free toilets in adjacent shopping centres. I will refrain from using the “spend a penny” line that I fear blogging about toilet-related news will force me to read multiple variations of forever more.

Today’s other bus toilet story is another wonderfully local one from the Iceland Monitor, which reports that there will be no toilets on the bus to Akureyri. Akureyri, which the Iceland Monitor tells me is known as the “uncrowned capital of the North” is the second largest city in Iceland and it has been announced that buses on the six-hour journey from Rekjavik to Akureyri will have no “functioning” toilet for the next month. The bus company announced that the “drivers will do their best for passengers”, which is more enigmatic than it is comforting.


A Straeto bus (the company which runs the route from Rekjavik to Akureyri) – it is not clear from the Iceland Monitor whether or not this is a photo of a bus without a “functioning toilet” – from the Iceland Monitor

The headline calls them “gold toilets”, but the photograph begs to differ. Today’s Quartz features a story about a “boutique office” in London (is there anything that can’t be called boutique any more?) with “champagne on demand” and gold toilets, but as you can see from this picture, the toilet clearly isn’t gold. It’s porcelain.


Not a golden toilet, from qz.com

Here at “Today in toilets”, we bring you the truth. The door is impressively golden, as indeed is the toilet brush holder, but no matter how boutique this office, the toilet is no more golden than the one in the Darby Arms in my native Ballincollig.

Wales Online today ran a story on the reaction of Facebook users to the local council’s decision to close seven public toilets. The council has decided to close (after public consultation) the toilets underneath the Grand Pavilion in Porthcawl , at Kenfig National Nature Reserve, Derwen Road, Bridgend, Price Town Square and Blackmill Square in the Ogmore Valley and Pandy Road, Aberkenfig, (roll these placenames around in your mouth; nowhere has names that are more enjoyable to say than Wales does) to the disgust of Facebook users, who want to know if the council are “taking the piss”. Some suggest that citizens should start using the councillors’ own toilets from now on, and others say that the queues at the bus station toilets will now be even longer. (I have a feeling I will be reading and writing a lot about bus stations). The article ends with the opinion of one Facebooker, who isn’t particularly bothered. Apparently the toilets “stench of urine” because the council gave up on them long ago.

Finally today, good news for any readers from West Seattle, as Craigslist is running this ad in the “free stuff” section:

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